Baraminologists deny 'hoax' charges, threaten legal action

Apparently the charge made on Panda’s Thumb that the Institute for Noachian Studies Fellows Dr. Orbin S. Thicke and Rev. Bob-Bob Lee’s ground-breaking approach to determining the taxonomic level of the Biblical “kinds” on Noah’s Ark is no more than a hoax perpetrated by Dr. Boli has struck a nerve, perhaps even two nerves. According to this story, spotted by Dr. Boli’s clipping service, crack baraminological researchers Thicke and Lee have vehemently denied that their forthcoming book, promised for publication in February 2043, is a hoax.

“We have established a methodology,” Dr. Thicke said. “A top-quality study will take some time, which is why we have given ourselves thirty-four years to complete it. There is no need for critics to weigh in before the study is even finished.”

“We knew we would face opposition from the satanic atheistic communistic Islamofascist spawn of hell,” added the Rev. Bob-Bob. “But a true scientist follows the facts wherever they lead him, as long as they do not lead him outside the pages of Genesis.”

It’s of note also that another set of theoreticians has weighed in:

Meanwhile, a spokesman for Answers in Hesiod, a classical pagan fundamentalist think tank, strongly condemned the projected study for failing to take into account the scientifically valid theory that Chaos, Gaia, and Eros arose spontaneously from nothing.

Let a thousand flowers bloom for a moment and then die and be woven into leis for … um. Oh. Sorry. Wrong fantasy. What was it someone once said about open minds and falling brains?

Panda’s Thumb spokesbear Professor Steve Steve was unavailable for comment due to a prior commitment with some bamboo stalks in eggnog. But I heard him exclaim as he trundled out of sight, “Happy holidays to all, and to all a good night!”